Like Home
by SapphireYaoiCollector
Summary: Before each fight a weird tradition was born.. how long will we continue it? Why do i feel like im home? WARNING: BL, YAOI, LEMON, SMEX, Some Cussing.
1. Chapter 1

One: Gokudera

Hibari and I had always been good at pissing the other off. It started from the first time we met, when I had tried to help the tenth by protecting him from an angry chairman whose couch we had mistakenly placed him on only to be royally defeated, much to my personal frustration. From then on, anytime I saw him we would fight with each other. It wasn't like when Yamamoto and I would argue, though. Those were fights between comrades, not enemies, despite what my emotions may tell me I know that, deep down, if he were to get seriously injured I would be concerned, and that made him a comrade in my book even if I do hate the fucker sometimes. Hibari, though? Yea, that resentment I felt for him and he for me never went away. All we had to do was look at the other and he would find some reason to try to 'bite you to death', which would instantly cause a blow out (literally) that would only end if Reborn-san intervened or I eventually passed out.

We'd been hating each other for so long that I was getting used to seeing him almost everyday to fight. There's nothing that gets the blood pumping like a good fight, after all.

''This is as far as you go, Gokudera Hayato.'' The glasses freak said, holding up his fucking yo-yos. ''We'll see about that!'' I spit out before charging forward. This wasn't a real fight, we were both injured, both using the last of our strength, and like the first time, I am fucking kicking his ass. I watched with satisfaction as bombs hit and yo-yos' missed. Smirk of victory about to appear on my face when, as a crippling shot of pain rushed through me from the trident mosquito's effects and I had to lean back- that fucking animal freak popped up and ripped his claws into me. _Ouch!_ The really fucking hurts! I spun, backing up into a fucking non-existent wall and falling down fucking stairs before landing on my already injured back. _I can hear them, even though my vision is blurry. Che so this is how its gonna end? I haven't even been able to repay tenths' kindness. If that fucking baseball idiot had just done his fucking job I wouldn't be in this mess right now!_

I looked around in a last-ditch effort to save myself while vowing to kill that damn idiot if I survived when I saw it: that fucking yellow bird was sitting on a pile of rubble and singing the Nami-chu theme song! _Don't tell me….?_ I lit a bomb off my cig and tossed it back, hoping to hit my target with my vision still going in and out. Sure enough, my years of hard work paid off and the ruble disappeared. _There he is!_ Hibari met my eyes, smirked, and stood on shaking legs. _YES_! I mentally cheered as I heard the freaks above us get deathly quiet. ''I could have gotten out myself… but this works.'' He muttered before telling me to leave it to him and charging forward. Before long the sounds of fighting, a few screams, and two thuds sounded above me and I felt myself smirk in triumph.

''Are you alive, Gokudera Hayato?'' I opened my eyes despite not consciously having chosen to close them, to see Hibari on the ground next to me, an intense, deep red streaming out of his back as he lay undignified, face down, on the floor beside me. I turned my head and cast him a worried look. _Fuck- how bad is he?!_ ''Are you?'' I croaked out, my eyes wide with-dare I say, concern? He grunted in pain and muttered an ''for now.'' Before coughing violently. I forced myself to move, it hurt like a bitch but I was able to sit up and lean forward enough to inspect the damage… _holy shit! How is he even awake?!_ I watched as his eyes widened as I reached over to him and pressed my hand on his wound, causing him to gasp in pain before I saw him bite at his lip. ''I've got you.'' I whispered in a voice I didn't recognize. I heard him mutter a ''shit'' before he clenched his hands. I turned, looking for anything to stop the bleeding- _Oh! My bandana_. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket and ripped my it in half, pressing part of it to each side of his body quickly. ''why are you helping me?'' he asked, voice surprisingly composed. ''Che! Because I don't want you to die.'' I muttered before yanking the sides of my bandana together and pulling hard enough for him to gasp out in pain and call out a ''fuck- Gokudera!'' I tied it together as fast as I could. ''I know. But this is the only way to get you through this!'' I said before pulling his shirt down around it. _It seems to be holding, at least._

''This should stop the bleeding for a while. With this amount of pressure, you should be able to keep the wound under control until we kick that bastard's ass and get the fuck to a hospital.'' I said, not meeting his eyes. ''Gokudera I've killed someone by giving them.. these wounds. So don't lie to me.'' His voice no longer composed, his eyes sharp but resigned… _Does he think I'd let him die?!_ '' Don't you dare give up- who am I going to fight with?'' I said, louder than I intended. His eyes met mine for a second before he tried to say something and dissolved into a violent coughing fit. I pushed on his wound to help keep the binding. _Shit shit shit!_

''Gokudera- I.'' I cut him off, unable to listen to his resigned words any longer- ''You want us to kick Mukuro's ass without you?! You're the strongest man I've ever met, Hibari! Your prideful and rude and a fighter! That's who you ARE. So don't you dare say something that sounds like dying words, Hibari. Not you.'' I bellowed while pressing on his back. I listened to his wheezing for a few moments before I felt his arm reaching up and pressing on my knee.

'' Lets go.'' He said, and I smiled. ''Fuck yea!'' I heard him snort at what I had said before sitting up and taking a deep breath. I stood slowly, and began to fall when I felt his body against mine. ''now who needs help?'' I was the one to snort this time. ''fuck you.'' I said while meeting his eyes. I would have continued but the fucking pain shot back into me and I was the one needing help while trying to breathe. He tightened his arm around my waist until I was able to breathe ok and tightened my arm around his shoulders. Then, together, we took turns pulling each other down the long hallway, heading for tenth.

OK! The full Chapter one! Yay!

SYC


	2. Chapter 2

Two: Gokudera

After our fight with Rokudo Mukuro was over Hibari and I did not speak a word about what had happened. As far as everyone knew, Hibari Kyouya had crawled out of wherever he had been dumped, fixed his wound and carried my sorry ass into the room where tenth was-since by that time, I had been the one who could hardly breathe and passed out. I had wanted to tell the tenth the truth, that I saved Hibari Kyouya, that I helped him get his courage back, that I was the reason he had still been fighting. But then I recalled the look of resignation in his eyes and the warmth of his hand around my back and I couldn't. I realized I would never betray that trust, even to the tenth, and when he and I met again at Nami-Chu for the first time two weeks later, we dissolved back into our former habit of trying to beat each other up. Nothing changed, and no words of gratitude were ever spoken.

This is why, when the ring battles first began, I was fucking pissed off about Hibari being chosen as a guardian. I heard about it from Kasakube in passing, when I had gone looking for him for a fight and he wasn't anywhere to be found. Of course, I was even more horrified that fucking Lambo was chosen, too. At first, I thought he would refuse, and when I was asked not to tell tenth who the cloud guardian was by Reborn-san I was happy to keep that secret because, after all, he wouldn't actually do it, right?

When I lost my ring in order to live another day I was so angry and mortified and discouraged by what happened- _how could I have lost? How could I have given in? Why cant I be stronger?! Why cant I be as strong as Hibari? If I was I would have won, hands down!_ I pretended to listen to tenths reissuances as we left the arena and I listened to Yamamoto make such a cheeky statement to Squalo but I wasn't actually there- I was still forcing myself not to lose it more than I had already. It was then that I saw him in the halls in Nami-Chu beating up varia members while wearing the ring around his neck. _Hibari was actually wearing the ring_ …?! I was shocked that he would take part in it. By his words, however, it was clear that he only wanted to fight which, to me, is even worse than the baseball idiots' stupid 'mafia game' joke. It isn't a game, after all.

I was forced to stay in the hospital, two rooms away from Lambo, and was made to stay here even after Yamamoto and Mukuro's fights had ended. I was laying in a pile of shame all alone in the hospital room l when I found myself reverting to my old habits of wishing I were dead after all. _Its not like tenth wouldn't get over it eventually, I mean, we only met this year and its not even been that long since I stopped scaring him! And then he could find a better, stronger person to be his storm guardian and his right-hand-Yamamoto is clearly more reliable and a better match as the right hand anyway!_ The intrusive, depressed thoughts only stopped when I could hear footsteps coming up behind me, causing me to turn over to snarl at whoever had made the unfortunate choice to enter the room. But the sound died in my throat as my eyes met those of Hibari Kyouya's. He didn't speak right away and instead looked down at me with an unreadable expression on his face. ''What?'' I finally said, sitting up.

''I saw that both Yamamoto Takeshi and Rokudo Mukuro won. I suppose that is good, my fight is next, after all.'' I rolled my eyes in annoyance. ''Che! You come all the way here to remind me that I failed? Huh?!" I snapped, reaching up and yanking him forward. He didn't fight me, though, he just held my gaze with the same unreadable look on his face and repeated '' My fight is next.'' Again.

I raised an eyebrow. _Why is he saying that? He isn't nervous, right?_ ''And?'' I prompted when he didn't finish. ''I wont lose. Not to them, or to anyone else. I wont die for this.'' He said, holding out the half vongola ring of cloud to me. I was about to snap when he continued ''No one will die for them. Its just a ring, you were right to keep living Gokudera Hayato.''

I felt my mouth open wide with shock at his words and tried-and failed, to keep my eyes from betraying me. I saw his widen a fraction as the tears fell and I gripped his shirt tighter in my fist. ''Fuck you. This isn't a game to me, ok? Its not just some 'fun' fight to take part in, either. Its my fucking life!'' I all but hissed at him. He didn't try to move away, he didn't try to attack me, instead he moved his left hand up and put it over my eyes, pressing just enough to cover them as the tears seemed to fall faster. '' Your right. Its your Life. That's why it matters, and that's what you cant afford to lose - your _life_.'' He whispered, causing me to bite my lip. I bit harder into my lip as I tried to force the tears back and felt his other hand come to stroke my hair. _Why is he being so nice? Why is he touching me? Why does he care how I feel?_ These thoughts were swirling around in my head and yet, all I could utter was

''Why cant I be strong?'' I croaked out while taking a deep breath to force my tears to stop. _This is so embarrassing! What just came out of my fucking mouth!_ I screamed at myself, horrified. I was about to speak when I heard Hibari make an unhappy sound and whisper ''During the incident with Rokudo Mukuro.. you remember what you did for me? You said I couldn't die, that I'm strong. I'll say that right back to you.'' I didn't respond for a few minutes before letting out a sigh and saying '' Why are you here now- and not when I lost?'' I asked, still feeling ashamed and confused about the perfect-and therefor weird- timing he had. It took him a while to respond, before saying ''This is me repaying the favor.'' And with that I forced out another deep breath and muttered a 'fuck you' before the room fell silent, with neither of us being good at conversations, especially in this situation. I found myself thinking that he would give up and bite me to death for not controlling myself, for the tears I was so pathetically shedding as his words finally sank into my system; _He thought I was strong._ While I let them sink in, Hibari just kept his hand on my face, the smoothness of his palm distracting me while I took deep breaths of a earthy sent that could only be from his skin. When I pushed his arm away after the tears stopped, he looked down at me and flashed a tiny-hardly noticeable- smile as he said ''we're even.'' Before walking out of the room. I just laid there in mute surprise and snorted before letting the tiredness in my bones finally lull me to sleep.

The next time I saw him would be when he avoided the stupid huddle I tried to get everyone to do before easily winning the battle-just like he promised. Unfortunately, Hibari had to attack Xanxus and the tenth ended up kicking ass- until the horror of the ninth's situation was revealed and we had to prepare for the final battle. He met my eyes, seeming to read my expression of anger while his, too, darkened at the scheme he had unknowingly been apart of. We didn't speak again, he sent me no more glances as the Sky battle began until he suddenly flung my ring up to me to get me the antidote, and I looked down to see him taking on that fucking crazy son of a bitch with an obvious aura of rage before I ran off to help the stupid cow. We met eyes when we stood near the each-other as we surrounded the tenth after the battle had ended, nodded our heads once in acknowledgement, and never spoke of it again.


	3. Chapter 3

Three: Gokudera

I couldn't believe how close I was to winning in that fucking choice 'game' before I was taken out. _If it had been me, and not fucking Yamamoto I would have been able to kill the bastard and make him stay dead! 'An inch of his life?' What the hell was that?! He shouldn't give an inch, ever. Period_! Instead, we lost, and now we can't even stay in our hideout. This is most-likely the lowest I have felt in years all because of fucking Yamamoto's mistake. And the worst part is that its just so 'like' him that I cant even be surprised, pissed the hell off-absolutely, but not surprised. _Shit, the look on his face makes it hard to even yell at him, and its not all his fault, I guess_. I wasn't able to get to the bastard in time so, really, it was a failure on us both-though way more on his part, obviously. Still, now we were in this fucking forest and are all a little injured and- _wait, what was tenth saying just now? Like hell I wont fight!_

''Tenth I-"

I sighed as I sat alone on a fucking rock in the woods of Namimori. I had left the clearing and the others after having stood up to the tenth for the first time, too embarrassed and-honestly annoyed, by everyone's stares. I mean.. it couldn't be helped, as right-hand man its my job to tell the boss my opinion when it really counts, and I know that but… _What the fuck was that confidence?! Like fuck I can win right now! My back's barely letting me sit upright! I'll just be the sorry bastard who let the boss down when he fucking trusted my word!_ I put my head in my hands and sighed again, angry at my big-ass ego getting me into a shitty situation _again_.

From my rock I could hear the distant fire and shushed whispers of the tenth as he laid out the plan to the others, but I couldn't listen to it right now. I know my part, I know what to do, and that was as much as I needed to know at the moment thank you very much! If I think about what tenth and the others are going to be doing I won't stand a chance- _well, ok, I'll stand even Less of a chance of winning._ I flinched as the injury caused my back to spasm slightly. _Damn it!_ My back ached like a fucking bitch! Still… It hurts less sitting on this rock, its far more soothing than sitting on the ground- at least here I have a way to lean back a little bit. I took a deep breath to calm myself as looked around once more and then leaned back against another rock. I closed my eyes to try to get some measure of rest and ended up having a fitful half-sleep.

In my half-awake dream I had failed- _the most likely outcome, really;_ and died like a pathetic loser. I was looking down at my funeral, the black coffin so much like the tenths had been was surrounded in flowers and my picture was sitting on top of it. The tenth was on the ground, crying and blaming himself for letting me go at all while the other guardians stood by and watched as I was put into the ground. Yamamoto's face was the first to flash into my mind, but instead of that damn easy-going smile, the idiot in my head a face stained with tears and the look of a wet puppy-he would be sad, after all, because we are friends. Lambo was next, his annoying face covered in snot and tears, I-pin, too, would be sad that I wasn't around. The turf top would probably go to my fucking funeral in a ceremonial boxing outfit shouting about some 'extreme loss' while crying-which caused me to bristle at the thought; his sister would stand by the devasted tenth, as would Haru. Mukuro wouldn't show up, of course, but Chrome had chosen to be there, staring straight ahead and unmoving. Then there was Hibari. His face flashed into my mind as he stood behind the others but I couldn't quite see his expression, his head was down in my dream and I had the strongest urge to hold him, he looked so sad.. lost somehow...

My sleep was interrupted by a sudden snap of a tree branch, my eyes widening and my body instantly on alert, I jumped to my feet as I reached for a box… ''Gokudera Hayato.'' I froze, watching as Hibari emerged from the darkness his expression unreadable, his eyebrows nit together ruining his normally handsome face. "What are you doing here?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion. He met my gaze for a moment before continuing to move closer to me, stopping a few feet away. _This is the closest we have been without fighting in nearly a year-_ ''That was impressive, Gokudera Hayato. Who knew you could stand up to your 'boss' like that.'' His tone wasn't right, though. Something was different.. ''Che! I have respect for the tenth so of course I will do whats best for him and the rest of the guardians!'' I whispered angerly, though there was nothing to really get angry at, besides, of course, my own pride.

I expected him to threaten to bite me to death for my tone, but instead he slowly walked over to me, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to my own ''Don't you dare die, Gokudera Hayato.'' He said, staring into my eyes. I met his gaze, unable to come up with any sort of response, because I couldn't process what he was doing or the emotion so clearly in his eyes. He was worried, his eyes filled with unmistakable fierce concern, his face, too seemed to be mimicking his eyes. He held my gaze for another minute before leaning his head down into the space between my neck and shoulder, wrapping his arms around my waist and taking slow, deep breaths, seeming to be inhaling my scent. ''Please.'' He whispered, just once, into my ear. A plea for me to follow those words.

I couldn't believe what was happening, my mind seeming to go blank before my body relaxed and I realized that I felt oddly comfortable in his arms, safe, somehow. Soon, I too leaned into him, my own arms moving of their own accord and wrapping around him, my head pressed against the side of his. We stood that way for god knows how long. Neither of us seemed to want to move. It was silent, all I could hear was his breathing and the thudding of a heart beat that was different from my own. The smell of an unfamiliar yet intensely comforting shampoo accompanied by the woodsy smell of his skin and the warmth of his body against mine. After a while, his arms tightened their hold around me and I too tightened my arms around him.

We stayed like this until we could hear the tenth call for us in the distance. Seeming to snap out of our trance, we pulled away at the same time and met each other's eyes once again, foreheads pressing together. '' I wont.'' I whispered, my next words flowing from somewhere deep inside me that I didn't seem to be aware of '' You better come home, too.'' I watched as his eyes softened and he put his hand on my heart, nodding ''of course I will. Who do you think I am, Hayato?'' he flashed me a cocky smirk, clearly finding my concern needless. _Che, bastard._ '' A cocky fucker?'' I said, returning his smirk as he actually snorted in amusement, a smile forming on his face as our eyes met again and he pushed his forehead harder against mine, our noses touching while I saw his expression shift Concern, Certainty, and Strong Conviction were now mixing in his eyes. "I will come home.'' He whispered as the urge to lean forward, to dare to touch his lips surged inside me and just as I saw a shift in his eyes, something similar, something telling me he would like that- the tenths' voice became clearer from behind me, forcing us to move apart. He turned his back to me and I couldn't stop myself from watching him walk away as he disappeared quickly into the forest. My heart thudding painfully in my chest.


	4. Chapter 4

Four: Gokudera

The next time he touched me was when Yamamoto was nearly dead. I and the others sat in the hospital while we waited for his surgery to end and I did everything in my power to keep myself together while flashes of his wounds played in my head. _The blood_. I took deep breaths through my nose to keep from getting sick. I had called the tenth and he had come running into the waiting room. I had tried to hold his hand to comfort him but after a few minutes he shook off my hand as the doctor came out of the room. I listened in mute horror beside tenth and Yamamoto's father as the doctor explained that Yamamoto was unlikely to wake up. He was stable for now, but that it could change.. Just the thought that his injury had been that bad made tenth begin to lose it and I couldn't let him down, so I bit the inside of my mouth hard enough to draw blood to keep it together for the tenth until he left with the ninth to discuss what this meant for the vongola. I stood there silently while some of the others walked to the little window into the room, but it took me a while before I walked up to the window and looked in, seeing my long-time friend laying there half-dead; _dying_ , his father crying beside him… I closed my eyes and turned away instantly, all but running out of the hospital because unlike the others I couldn't let myself cry there. Instead I found myself hiding behind a tree in the park across the street. _This cant be happening! He cant go and fucking die because the idiot had to trust someone! He likes and is kind to almost everyone! Why?! How could someone betray him?! How could they do this!?_ I felt tears start to fall and didn't even care, crouching down and burying my face in my hands. I didn't even look up when I heard the all too familiar footsteps coming up behind me. ''Hayato.'' Was all Hibari said before he sat behind me and wrapped both arms around me from behind, pressing himself as close as he could and leaning his head against mine. I cried harder, unable to hide my pain, unable to feel shame as I felt the warmth of his arms- the sent of the woods that had already become the most calming smell in the world to me. He had come for me so many times now, before every battle from the very beginning, and all I could think of was the mutual concern that the fight with Mukuro had stirred inside us years ago. The deep focus on keeping the other alive still burning inside us both.

''He wont die.'' He whispered, softly, almost inaudibly into my ear and I realized that he was holding back tears himself. I turned quickly, so fast that he didn't have time to react, and wrapped my arms around him, burying my head against his chest. He let out a sigh and took a deep breath as he pushed his head against mine again and wrapped his arms around me, this time even tighter.

''He's my best friend- I fucking hate him sometimes, but he's one of the people I love most! I don't- I cant lose those I care about _again_!'' I whispered between sobs. ''I know.'' He said, pressing his chin onto the top of my head. '' I wont let you lose anyone. I'll think of a way…. so it will be alright. I promise.'' I took a deep breath, too, and let those words sink in. For the life of me I couldn't stop myself from believing in him. The feeling of safety that I had felt just before the final fight in the future returned, stronger than ever. Strength I didn't know I could have seemed to fill me as we held each other, his breathing and his heart beats both different, and somehow similar in rhythm to my own. The warmth of his arms around me all telling me that this was right. That he was going to make it ok, that I am safe. When we pulled back, though only slightly, it happened. Faster than lightening, softer than rain- we surged forward and pressed our lips together at the same time. Hibari's hands moving to my hair to hold me in place, my hands moving up his back to clutch at the fabric of his shirt. I opened my mouth as he licked my lips and he pressed his tongue inside my mouth.

From there it was all a battle of tongues and soft panting between frantic kisses and long, gentle fingers tangling in my hair. The kisses turned deeper, slower, but stronger somehow. We kissed and it felt right, it was comfort and strength and safety and home _. It feels like home_.

When we pulled back, our breath still mixing together as we gasped for air "You better come home to me-No matter what.'' He whispered, pressing a simple kiss against my neck and all I could do was reply with ''I will-and I'll never forgive you if your not waiting for me'' my voice still thick from the earlier tears. He met my eyes and smiled before our lips met once again as one of his hands began to move to my neck.

I don't know how long we kissed, I don't remember any words beyond those being said. Soft touches and looks, panting, hard breaths, deep kisses that made me lose myself-that stole my breath and caused my mind to go numb. The gentle hands that ran along my spine, slowly, from my neck to the top of my belt and back up again. The feeling of his arms around me and the softness of his hair as I ran my hands through it. 'Please come home to me' seemed to be the message in each movement, in each searing touch.

We heard someone calling for their chairman in the distance, much like the tenth had done in the future. We parted slowly, taking in long, deep breaths of the others sent as our mouths separated and buried in the others necks'. He tightened his hold on me for just a moment before the vice chairman's voice began to get close. Just before we parted we both whispered ''I will.'' Into the others neck. The unspoken feeling of 'come home' so strong that it overpowered everything else.

We didn't say anything else, no other sweet words just that simple promise as he joined the committee VP and I stood up to go back inside. No matter how horrible this fight will be, no matter how many or who we may face, I would come home no matter what- we both would.

When we met next it was during the cloud fight. He had become even more amazing on the battlefield in the short few days we had to train. It was insanely impressive. Still, with each injury-no matter the size, my stomach did an uneasy flop. When he said 'it's the sky that allows the cloud to move about freely' accepting in words his position for the first time, I felt myself blush a little and, when, not long after, Yamamoto really did come back to us, I met his eyes and saw the smile there. I am sure that he knew what Dino had been up to- hell, he might have been the one to ask him to do it _. Shit I want to kiss him again._


	5. Chapter 5

Five: Gokudera

After the battle, we didn't speak of it. We sent a soft look and a simple nodding of heads to the other when the fight was over. I could tell he wasn't happy tenth had forgiven Enma, and neither was I, but we both held back, and it felt good to know someone else felt that way-and that neither of us had to say it.

The odd ritual between us did not repeat during the fight with the vincinchi, we did not meet in the way we have been for so long now. We didn't go running to one another; I cant think of why, the need is still there inside me, the deep, painful want that screamed at me with every fiber of my being. But we didn't have the luxury of time, and we didn't need to make any more promises, anyway. It was still there, engraved into my head and my heart; the words we spoke still fresh in our minds _. 'come home to me'_ our promise had already been made. I just wish I had the courage to reach for him again. I felt my heart turn cold when he nearly died, when I saw his death-even knowing it was fake, even knowing he would survive, even with our promise- it was crippling. I couldn't stand the sheer volume of agony that seemed to pour out of my heart when I saw it happen. The relief when it ended, when I knew he was alive and would keep going-that he could come home, was almost painful in its intensity, and in that moment I made the conscious realization: I am madly in love with Hibari Kyouya.

.

.

.

That night had been difficult, difficult because we both needed intensive treatment, and I just wanted to go running for him. Run as hard and fast as possible- but I was stuck in a bed next to the tenth and Yamamoto and I wasn't going to risk ripping stiches to go- he wouldn't want that.

PRESENT DAY: Gokudera

I opened my eyes from the dream, memories of the past that I couldn't forget even after five years of no touching- hardly any talking, and no words of promise ever being spoken between us again. I stretched in my chair, my back still sore from falling asleep in the office while I allowed my thoughts to wander. I suppose it's a good thing, in a way, that he hasn't come near me. Because it meant that no horrible battles awaited us. Instead, when we do see one another its only during meetings that the entire familliga have to attend as the tenth vongola's guardians or when he turns in paperwork from his missions. In those moments I cant keep myself from meeting his eyes and I cant stop the want that I feel for him- its such a deep pull of desperation and sexual desire and intense love that I have to force myself to pay attention or my mind will go elsewhere instantly. _Even after all these years Im still too cowardly to face that fact that I'm madly in love with the strongest man alive, that we touched just once, that only I have been given the trust to see his tears. I just want to have him touch me again.. But he hasn't tried to talk to me.. maybe he realized how close we had started to become and doesn't want anything to do with me? Maybe he realized I had already begun to fall for him when we kissed that one time.. Maybe he realized the sympathy and concern and comfort were not something he would like to give me.. That two men touching in such a way was wrong... Its only natural, I'm not exactly a catch. My shitty attitude with him and everyone else isn't a real selling point and then there is the chain smoking… of course he wouldn't want me- plus im so fucking pale and im not nearly as-_ ''Can I come in, Hayato?''

I looked up from my thoughts instantly to see Hibari standing in the doorway of my office, his expression unreadable. I nodded mutely, eyes locking on him despite my desperate attempt to do otherwise. '' whats wrong?'' I asked- _there must be something wrong for him to come to me after all this time, after all._ He lifted his face and smirked at me as he walked over to my side and putting one hand on my desk. ''that's how it always is, right? We only talk to argue with each-other or when we are facing death, right?'' his voice sounded sad, his eyes meeting mine- the emotion in them so very similar to the painful love I have been feeling for him that I felt my heart begin to thud in my chest. ''I hate it.'' I whispered, unable to keep the words in.

I heard him let out a deep breath and smile down at me ''I hate it too. I always thought you didn't want anything to do with me outside of those times, of course.'' I felt my eyes widen and my breath catch as I realized he and I had both been too cowardly to say anything all this time. I stood up before I could think about it and brushed past him as quickly as I could, pushing the office door closed and turning to face him. Our eyes met again and the sadness in his eyes burned me- _Had he thought I was going to leave?_ Before I walked closer to him and watched as the look turned into a one so loving that I gasped. '' I love you Gokudera Hayato. Chose to be with me?'' He whispered as he leaned closer and pressed his forehead against mine. _How long has it been since he did this?_ I smiled '' I love you too- so much.'' I whispered back to him, feeling myself begin to tremble at what this meant, at what we could become.. I didn't have much time to think of this, though because, suddenly, he surged forward and his lips were on mine, and it felt just like it did all those years ago. Like love and safety and strength and _home_ and I kissed back just like the first time, my hands clutching at his back as we kissed slowly, passionately, his tongue moving so slowly around my own that I moaned. He moved his hands from my hair and slowly ran them down my spine once more, causing me to moan again as he took his time in finding my hips and then yanking me forward, our bodies flush against each other while I pushed my tongue against his so hard that he gasped as his hold on my hips tightened. We both moaned as our already growing erections pressed together just right, and he held my hips steady to slowly thrust against me. 'Ah!' I broke the kiss to call out-unable to control myself before he kissed me again, softly, before we broke apart for air as his hands dug into my hips. ''Will you choose me?'' He whispered, looking into my eyes with a look of such love and want that I smiled and shivered at the same time. '' Yes.'' I said quietly as he leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together again '' Let's go home.'' He whispered, and I smiled before nodding in agreement.

We walked into his house and were instantly pulling on each other and kissing for all we were both worth. He kicked the door closed as his hands found my hips and he pushed me against the wall while I tangled my hands in his hair and moaned. ''More. Kyouya, more.'' I gasped out between kissed and I actually felt the sensation of his moan before he said ''Im taking you to bed. Right now.'' And I couldn't even respond, I just needed him to take me-needed him to touch me even more. I nodded, kissing him again as his hands found my ass and he lifted me into his arms while I wrapped my legs around him as he carried me to his bed. Soon he was laying me down and climbing onto me while he broke away from my lips long enough to pull off our shirts and toss them to the floor. I reached out and pressed my hand to his pants, pulling off his belt as his hands ran down my chest. I then pulled them down as quickly as I could, watching as he kicked them and his boxers off at once and leaning up while he stripped me of my own. He looked at me with a look of intense want, of admiration as he whispered ''Hayato- your beautiful.'' In a horse voice that caused me to blush even more. ''that's what you say to a woman.'' I said simply, and he smiled ''no, its what you say to your lover when they're too sexy to handle.'' and then he was on me again-not giving me a chance to say anything further as his lips and tongue traced every inch of my mouth before he began to trail them down my body, slowly licking and sucking on my neck; my ears, my chest and my abbs. While he roamed my body, I tangled my hands in his hair and my knee found his member, and we both moaned as his hand grasped my member harshly. ''K-Kyouya. Please- Please- Ah!'' I called out, my voice breaking as I moaned, his hands now working me over while I moved my knee up and down along his erection and his moans touched my skin along with his lips. I felt my entire body shake with want as I listened to those moans.

Soon my knee was replaced with my hands as I grasped him and myself and pressed them together. He seemed to understand what I wanted because soon we were trusting against each other in such an intense, slow way that we were both unable to control ourselves as we moaned and pulled on the other's hips to continue. We set a pace so slow and painfully intense that I could feel every inch of his body against mine as the desperate need to cum building inside me cause me to be nearly ready to scream in pleasure.

Suddenly, though, he removed a hand and pushed his fingers into my mouth. I sucked hard, coating them in spit while he pulled my hands away from our bodies and softly leaned down while pulling my hips up slightly. Then he wrapped his mouth around my member and began sucking hard as he pulled his fingers from my mouth and, in the same movement, pressed one inside me. The second he trust it in he sucked harder on my member and it felt so good and so intense that I lost my voice, unable to even speak to warn him that I was seconds from cumming. I came so hard and so fast, my hands going to his hair while I felt him swallow everything and take me even deeper into his mouth while he added another finger. ''Ah! Fuck- fuck me, Kyouya.'' I rasped as he sucked harder and began to scissor his fingers. He leaned his head up long enough to say ''not until im sure you'll feel no pain. I refuse to ever let making love hurt you.'' And then took me into his mouth again while the tears of pleasure and love formed in my eyes and I hand to grip his hair to keep myself in reality.

This continued until four fingers were working me over inside, hitting my prostate over and over again while I thurst my hips up and let out intense cries. He pulled away from my member just before I came for the sixth time. Wiping his mouth with a soft smile on his face and lining up with my entrance. He met my eyes and he didn't even need to speak, I simply nodded at him and then he finally pressed into me, grabbing my member as I began to cum. ''no.'' he said sternly before thrusting in completely. ''W-why? Let go. Please-'' ''I want to come together.'' He whispered before he began to thrust in and out at an agonizingly slow pace as we locked lips and swallowed each-others' moans. I was seeing stars, the intense pleasure of him hitting my prostate with every thrust, the heat of him inside me almost searing, the smell of his skin and the touch of his lips while he held me back from release too much to take. This went on for gods-knows how long until I literally screamed in painful pleasure. ''Ah-Ahh-pl-please-let me come, please-ahhhhh!'' I begged desperately, feeling him pulsing inside me as he let go of my member and thrust so hard into my prostate that I couldn't even call out, a noise I have never heard escaped from my lips in intense pleasure and my nails dug into his skin while we came together, hard, fast, and intense. He didn't pull out- my legs holding him inside me while I felt him fill up every part of me as he moaned my name into my ear over and over and pumped me to prolong my pleasure.

When he had finished, when nothing was left inside of us and we couldn't see straight anymore, he flopped against me while he was still buried inside me while we met eyes and kissed slowly, touches so light and loving and full of promises. Promises that he spoke in soft whispers against my lips and ones I murmured into his neck when he buried my face against my shoulder.

''I love you.'' And ''I will never let you go again'' whispered to me as we met eyes- words of love and safety that settled into every part of me. ''I love you too. Your mine.'' I whispered while feeling his smile and seeing the light in his eyes.

We were finally here- finally together.


End file.
